The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
