You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
