What a fucking waste of an outfit
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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