is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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