I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
