im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
