Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
