So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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