Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
