Small penises have feelings too.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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