let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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