we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
