I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
