so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
