you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
