I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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