I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
