Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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