hell yes lets make some ravioli
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
