Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize