just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
