What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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