So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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