I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize