So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
