she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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