i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's just like the Real World with babies
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
