I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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