I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
