i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
