She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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