Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize