turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
