I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
