Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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