She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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