Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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