We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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