I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
