I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
