oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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