Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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