you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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