the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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