For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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