you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
