just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
