was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
