Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
