I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
