dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
