matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
