it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
