do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I deserve this hangover.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize