we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this boner is exhausting
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
