yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
