I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
