remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
